And we are all alone on the battlefield. Title inspired by the band.
Modern life is war, and not a limited one: it's total. It's brutal and animalistic, it's never-ending and always present, it takes no prisoners and exhibits no mercy, it comes from all directions, it's both passive and active. This belief is uncommon, or at least not talked about or thought of in this way, but the war is there and it's affecting everyone, some more than others due to circumstances and/or inaction. The sooner this belief is understood and accepted the sooner actions can be taken to either a) repel the enemy and take back territory that was lost while "living life", or b) admit defeat and live under the oppressive rule of the invaders.
Physical health is being attacked. Foods are hyper-palatable and make overeating incredibly easy without realizing. Alcohol is marketed as a not-so-unhealthy product (despite the numerous problems it poses to health and society) because it has low carbs. Fat acceptance and the unhealthy type of body positivity are becoming more pervasive as the obesity rate continues to rise. Lack of sleep and working to the point of stress overload implies positive traits (e.g., good work ethic, dedication to something) and is reinforced through social feedback. Obvious physical fitness is mocked by the unfit out of jealousy and spite.
Financial health is being attacked. Inflation is ubiquitous in all purchases, especially housing costs. Wages have stagnated as companies exploit their employees by giving bare minimum raises that will prevent them from becoming uncomfortable and switching jobs.
Social health is being attacked. Men who lack certain traits—sufficient height, six-figure salary, excellent fitness—are thrown to the curbside in favor of their more attractive counterparts. Women who lack certain traits—a thigh gap, a weight under 150 lb, clear skin—are ignored in favor of their more attractive counterparts. Men must abide by certain traditional masculine traits lest they be considered less of a man. Women must abide by certain traditional feminine traits lest they be considered not-that-feminine. Lack of social media posts imply a boring life, leading to staged pictures to ward off those dreadful thoughts of others.
Career and hobby advancement is being attacked. Coworkers competing for the same position scheme to either covertly sabotage opponents' chances or slyly improve their own standing. Companies minimize raises and promotions to protect profits, despite the employee being the one to produce them. Gatekeepers and high cost-of-entry prevent newcomers from entering or progressing in hobbies. Employees are "strongly encouraged" to follow the management path by their salary being stifled in the upper levels of their job grades.
Freedom of thought is being attacked. Political beliefs and positions are vilified. Expressing philosophical stances results in social or financial consequences. Fear of retribution causes locked lips and anonymous accounts.
Happiness is being attacked. Comparison of others, regardless of personal situations, leads to the theft of joy and satisfaction. Messages are being sent that this or that lifestyle is the only way to happiness. Personal interests are derided. A constant state of not enough is instilled, making achievements feel less worthwhile because there's always more to be done.
These attacks are facilitated by both individuals, groups, entities, and society. Some are solvable in the short-term, others require generations of change, others are here to stay for the long-term. Battles should be chosen based on how much damage will be sustained and how much territory will be gained. Pyrrhic victories are not worth it by definition, especially if the ego is all that is being benefitted.
Help is limited to select friends and family, so self-rescue should be expected and planned for. Relying on others for assistance and support will ultimately reveal who is dependable and who isn't, creating information, disappointment, and hopefully a greater sense of self-reliance every time help is needed.
This is the state of life.
Two solutions exist to this issue.
First, keel over and accept the circumstances. Accept the number on the scale. Accept the lackluster raise. Accept the lack of certain traits and how out of reach they are. Accept the path that the company and managers decided on. Accept being told what to think. And after all those circumstances are accepted, accept the unhappiness that is destined to follow. Accept the regret that may not surface immediately, but slowly manifests itself over the years while the scale number grows bigger and the paycheck grows smaller and the grind of management wears on the soul. Accept the lack of agency. Accept the life that was decided by others, the one that did not allow input, the one that is bleak and unfulfilling and hopeless.
Or second, resist and take back what shouldn't have been taken in the first place. Eat healthy, train hard, work to personal satisfaction, sleep to the body's content, and resist anyone who taunts or criticizes that lifestyle. Work hard to get raises and when the boss counters it with an insulting, meager cost-of-living adjustment, resist and switch companies. Establish personal values and look for partners that value those an equal amount and resist those who belittle those values and preferences. Choose a career path that provides happiness and resist anyone trying to force a role that doesn't fit. Voice thoughts for all to hear and resist those who say the thoughts are wrong without providing a reason. Be happy and resist those who say happiness is something else.
What's important about the second option is that an effort was made to take back territory from the enemy. What matters is that decisions weren't made by others, and if they were, they were resisted if undesired. Self-determination was turned up to the max even if the results fell short of the goal. The head can be held up proudly knowing the battles were fought with vigor and valor and the mind can rest easy knowing it's controlled by itself and no one else.
In the end, agency is what matters. The ability to control decisions and, to some extent, outcomes. Agency is a prerequisite to happiness in life, because how can one be happy when someone else is in control? How can one live with their life's choices in the hands of others?
In the wise words of Henley:
Out of the night that covers me Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul.