Has trying to get better made me worse?
[name] has a had a profound impact on me. I don't consider myself a fanboy because I don't obsess about him as a person, but rather his philosophy, which boils down to a few main points:
Some of these have taken longer for me to implement into my life, but they're all there now, regularly being examined and practiced and refined. I hold myself accountable for following through on commitments and promises. I regularly push my comfort level to remind myself of what I'm capable of. I only quit when it doesn't make sense for me to continue. I seek growth in all aspects of my life.
But it appears others rarely follow these principles. They make empty promises. They don't care about where their limits are, much less pushing past them. They quit when things get challenging. They are complacent with where they're at in life, whether it be professionally, physically, or socially.
And I often disdain them for it.
I disdain those who tell me they'll do something and make no obvious effort to actually do it. I disdain those who quit at the slightest experience of discomfort. I disdain those who don't seek to better themselves in some fashion.
I know this comes across as condescending, elitist, and derogatory. The saving grace of these principles is they apply to many aspects of life and can be practiced by most, nature or nurture factors aside. I do not ask for a 99th-percentile rating in all of them. I just want honest effort put into at least one or two because I think it's good for society and the soul.
I
Arrhenius is an engineer who doesn't have much going on his life—no significant other, no hobbies, little family. But he enjoys his job. He meets all the deadlines he sets for himself, even if that means staying late to finish. He takes on large, complex projects that he and others are doubtful he can do by himself, but still manages to finish on time and with superb quality, never choosing to quit when he hits a seemingly-impassable obstacle. He continues to learn his craft and those that support it in order to improve his own skills.
II
Brantiorio is a EVE online gamer with a dead-end job. He's not very good at EVE. He doesn't understand large-scale battle strategy and often fails to do well in smaller battles where individual performance matters more. But he's reliable. And his teammates know both of these facts. They put him in positions that are crucial to the success of the army yet don't require great skill or apply immense, real-time pressure. He works hard to fulfill his role and contribute to the team, never shying away from or altogether leaving the boredom because he knows everyone is dependent on him. There is no growth or pushing past limits for Brandenburg. He is satisfied where he's at as a reliable, follow-things-through-to-the-end teammate.
III
Cassidisius is notoriously unreliable. She never shows up on time, rarely follows through on tasks, and can't be trusted with a secret. She is, however, a beast on the mountain bike. When she does show up, she puts some major power down to stay with the crew, even if that means vomiting or her training being ruined for the rest of the week. Quit is not in her vocabulary. She does not know how to back down. She only knows how to step up despite it sometimes being detrimental to long-, or even short-, term success.
IV
Deondracchia dislikes discomfort. She enjoys fine meals, sleeping in as long as her body wants, and not working a minute more than she chooses to. She wants to grow in her career, but not at the expense of her comfort.
V
Evachigusto's promises cannot be trusted. They must be followed up on to make sure it was actually done, and even when it's done, the quality must be checked. They have no goals in life despite having the career, money, and social network to have many. They quit when the going gets tough and rely on other people to finish what needs to get done. They sell themselves short and claim they can't do X without even making an attempt.
I don't like feeling this way. I didn't predict I'd end up this way and I didn't ask for this. So what to do in this predicament? Do I continue to go through life abhorred/pitying/annoyed/disgusted by those who don't meet my requirements for how to live their lives? Do I use my knife to sever our connection to save my sanity and their self-image? Do I choose the severances selectively, or just do it all at once? Do I learn how to cope with this? Do I lower my standards? Do I get over myself?
I don't know how I should choose. I don't know how much I'm in the wrong, if at all—can someone be wrong for having beliefs that aren't and cannot be rooted in fact or evidence?
I am not afraid to use the knife. While it's not my first choice, I've used it before and will continue to keep it in my tool belt for when situations call for it.
I should come to terms with the fact that I will continue to be disappointed by people. This is guaranteed, but would still be true if my principles were different. Everyone has different priorities and ways to live their lives. Reliability, perseverance, and growth may not be important to someone, yet I can still enjoy their company and being in my life. I've always wanted to "help" people, where help is imposing my beliefs and teaching them things I wish I had learned years ago. This is not healthy for either party nor the relationship itself.
Why do I care so much about how other people live? Sure, the first principle affects me, but the latter two don't (at least not directly). I want people to feel how I feel when I don't give up, when I defy the pain that's been clouding my mind and muscles for seconds to minutes to hours. I want people to feel how I feel when I learn from an experience and decide how to improve, when I craft and execute a plan that makes me better as a person/[occupation]/athlete. These feelings are not able to be experienced vicariously; one must go through the many trials and tribulations in order to reap the full benefits. I care about these people, friends or family or strangers. I want them to see what they're missing.
These words are all food for thought. I'll make no commitment to changing my ways or ossifying my beliefs. I may give up on trying to help others see the light and feel the glory. My personal growth may stagnate along with these efforts.