they also come with a number of perils. In particular, we are prone to a) become distressed by any perceived threat to an identity, and b) become utterly inflexible around shifting, modifying, or discarding identities.
These so-called perils can also be good. A threat to a "positive" identity (one that is generally good for us to have) can compel us to maintain or promote said identity against adversity. For example, if I'm known as a trustworthy person and do something that throws that into question, I will work extra hard in the future to regain said trust.
Inflexibility in identities can be good for positive identities that have a failsafe mechanism in the form of a condition or trusted person. For example, if I'm known as a trustworthy person but take that to the extreme by following through on commitments to the detriment of my health, a friend or the bags under my eyes can let me know I'm taking it too far.
The degree of threat perceived is proportional to the importance of the goal and to the extent that the identity is sole strategy for achieving the goal.
If threats to identity are really about threats to goal-attainment, then the key to working with identities becomes a) surfacing the hidden goals and, b) ensuring there is security around attaining those goals.
I'd argue most goals derived from an identity go back to either first principles ("I am X because X is important in and of itself") or status.
In Keep Your Identity Small, Paul Graham argues against associating yourself with labels (i.e. “libertarian,” “feminist,” “gamer,” “American”) because labels constrain what you’ll let yourself believe. ... Beliefs can constrain actions, but identity can also constrain actions directly. ... Do you want to constrain your beliefs? No. ... Do you want to constrain your actions? Yes!
Identity is hard to change. Identity can be difficult to notice. Identity has unintended consequences. Use this tool only after careful deliberation. What would this identity do to your actions? What would it do to your beliefs? What social consequences would it have?
With identities, just like with habits, the easiest way to reduce or eliminate a bad one seems to be to install a new one that is incompatible with it.
Commitment bias, also known as the escalation of commitment, describes our tendency to remain committed to our past behaviors [our identity], particularly those exhibited publicly, even if they do not have desirable outcomes.
The feeling that our future behaviors must align with what we have said and done in the past severely compromises our ability to make good decisions. This is especially true when our past choices have led to unfavorable outcomes. Furthermore, it can be problematic when our past behaviors no longer align with our current values.
Refusing to change one’s stance may not only lead to undesirable results, but can also act as a barrier to personal growth. The ability to acknowledge flaws in our past behaviors to better ourselves is incredibly adaptive. It will ultimately gain us greater self-insight and help us make decisions more critically and logically.
CCB goes half-hand-in-hand with this post's thesis: can behaviors be designed such that they are good and deviating from them goes against our desires? (Of course, we want to maintain the ability to easily choose not to do something if it's harmful.)
Experiments
I've chose six identities to adopt over the course of several months. Each identity has my definition, benefits to me, possible outcomes, and results explicitly listed below.
Some risks that extend to all:
Finding an excuse that allows me to violate an identity without social or personal repercussions and using it when convenient is a slippery slope because it allows me to maintain said identity yet continue to violate it. I trust myself to not "cheat" in this manner, but mental gymnastics is a powerful thing that I've definitely committed in the past.
Abiding by some identities may conflict with each other due to time, energy, or other external constraints. There will have to be a balance found when situations like this occur.
Minor or major mental turmoil if I grossly violate an identity. The aforementioned mental gymnastics may help to explain some instances away, but others may be unexplainable and thus troubling.
Gatekeeping others when they threaten the validity of my identity. For example, if I consider myself well-read and knowledgable about a subject and meet someone who is visibly more well-read and knowledgable about the same subject, that throws into question just how much of an expert I was. I may try to question just how X someone is when I like to think I'm very much X. I may also question my own identity, e.g., if this person is X and they are way more X than me, how can I also be X?
Taking identities to the extreme may result in issues. A few examples:
Trustworthy: I don't tell secrets despite me keeping it grossly harming others; I harm myself (not like that!) in trying to keep a commitment
Open to Experiences: I say yes to things that are harmful
Kind: I'm kind to people who don't deserve it
I trust that I can evaluate each situation and determine the right course of action.
And some thoughts:
I've come to find that status is important to me when writing down the benefits and outcomes of each identity. While not 100% of the purpose, I definitely want to be known as X and Y.
Adoption
I adopted these identities by focusing on the benefits of adopting them and the detriments of not adopting them, especially the social ramifications of the latter (i.e., what will people think of me if I'm an un[x] person?).
Quite a few of these identities were already a part of me, and those that weren't only took a short while to do so using the above method.
Abandonment
Abandoning an identity is the opposite of adopting one: focus on the detriments of keeping it and the benefits of dropping it.
Generality
I chose the top-down approach, or general identities that encompassed multiple behaviors. For example, being athletic (an identity I originally had but chose to forego) requires consistent training, healthy eating, and ample sleep, among other, less impactful behaviors. By choosing to "be athletic" I'm choosing to adopt all of these behaviors instead of piecemealing everything through the individual parts.
List
Description
A trustworthy person does not tell others' information to non-privy parties and does what they say and practices what they preach, no matter the cost (within reason). No one has concerns using them as a confidant. Their word is solid and no one questions that they will get said task done. Any claims they make are not exaggerated and don't require a fact-check. They are also honest, always speaking their mind and holding truth in the highest regard. They only tell white lies when absolutely necessary. They are direct in communication with others in a kind and respectful way.
Benefits
I grow closer to people because they trust me with secrets
I get assigned more important, high-profile tasks
I become known as a trustworthy and dependable person
Possible Outcomes
I will follow through on a large majority of commitments
I will make fewer commitments, but the ones I do make are much more likely to be completed
I get more work than others because of my dependability and their lack of it
Results
Success!
A majority of commitments I make resolve as true. I am judicious in the ones that resolve as false, taking care to ensure a) the others won't be significantly affected, and b) I have a valid reason.
I consider my decisions more thoroughly now and instead of making fewer, I make them easier to succeed in (e.g., doing dinner 30 minutes later when I think I may be cutting it close)
I've never told others' secrets when they explicitly tell me not to tell, so nothing has changed here
I quantify or explain my claims to match my confidence (e.g., "I'm not entirely sure, but ...", "I'm very confident that ...")
Description
An agentic person makes things happen. They can start and finish things quickly and effectively when they put their mind to it. Very few goals are out of reach, and most of those that are are not a result of the person's lack of trying nor lack of ability, but rather external factors outside of their control.
My ability to get things done improves due to constant practice of getting things done
I become known as someone who gets things done
I get assigned more important, high-profile tasks
Possible Outcomes
I find more efficient ways to complete tasks
I shortcut or half-ass difficult tasks just to the point of marking complete due to fear of failure
Results
Success!
I've half-installed a TAP that makes me put things on my calendar or to-do list when I say I'm going to do them
I feel much more capable in starting and completing a goal, regardless of its loftiness (within reason)
Description
A clean person is both personally and environmentally clean. Their hair is well-groomed a majority of the time (depending on style); their clothes and shoes are well-fitting and in good condition (no holes or stains); their oral and body hygiene is good and maintained through brushing teeth, flossing, and showering. Their living space and vehicle is cleaned and organized regularly; they are not messy in actions (eating, cooking, etc) nor in environments (office, car, living spaces, etc).
I lower my standard of clean to meet said standard with my current level of cleaning effort
Results
(In progress as of 15 May 2024—progress update on 01 July 2024)
Description
A fun person can find amusement in most situations or objects. They don't need a specific time, place, person, or thing to have fun, they just do. This can be through words or actions.
Benefits
I'm less bored in traditionally boring places or situations
I become known as a fun person
Possible Outcomes
I try to force fun in situations where it is inappropriate or I appear to be trying too hard
Results
(In progress as of 15 May 2024—progress update on 01 July 2024)
Description
A person who is open to experiences says yes to things that are unfamiliar or uncomfortable (within reason) to them. They choose to try different things instead of the same usual stuff.
Benefits
I have more life experiences and do things I generally would not have done
Possible Outcomes
I say yes to things that are dangerous, uncomfortable, inappropriate, etc.
Results
Success!
I adopted this a few years ago and it has worked very well thus far. I've had experiences I definitely wouldn't have had otherwise thanks to this identity.
I have not run into any precarious situations because I'm able to say no when needed
Description
A curious person wants to understand why and how things are. They search deep within a problem for understanding and rarely quit before finding the answer, and even after finding the answer, continue on for more knowledge. They try to examine all details and use all resources on the path to an answer.
Benefits
I learn a lot more about things I'm curious about
Possible Outcomes
I go too far down unproductive rabbit holes
I ask questions that I shouldn't ask (this has already happened)
Results
(In progress as of 15 May 2024—progress update on 01 July 2024)
Closing Thoughts
This is a powerful, albeit risky, tool that can be used to effectively force certain behaviors with the massive risk of going too far into it and throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Secrets should be told to save lives or major well-being; others, despite being in the way, should not be hurt on the path to a goal; showering multiple times a day to maintain cleanliness isn't required; fun shouldn't be had in all situations; saying yes to a new experience should only happen if the experience will be a net positive in all ways; curiosity can be taken the wrong way and should only be exercised under the right circumstances.
Identities will be violated at some point, intentionally or otherwise. Being able to critically examine why it was violated is crucial to ensuring it doesn't happen again (if it was unreasonable) and/or preventing any mental turmoil from arising.